Friday, November 8, 2013


Through most of college I kept a livejournal.  After a great trip last weekend to visit a bunch of college buddies, I decided to wade back through the archives.

I took a lot of quizzes.  And wrote a lot about being excited to get drunk.  I also spent a lot of time writing about how depressed I felt, apparently for no reason.

I am a different person now.  Clearly.  And I know it's because of work that I put in.  I hated being shy.  I hated being awkward.  I hated feeling overly self-conscious around strangers, or even friends.  And sometime during the last two years of college I started to force myself to get over it.  I had long talks with myself about how stupid I was being.

Now when I describe myself as shy, or explain how I used to be unable to speak to strangers, I get "yeah right" looks.

Out of curiosity, I just took re-took the Myer's-Briggs personality test.  I don't know why, but I remember exactly what I used to get: INFP.  Now, I get ENFJ.  It appears that these two personality types are closely related, and I recognize that these things are silly, and aren't truly reflective of the complex mishmash that every person's personality is made up of, but there are definitely kernels of truth.

This one just hit home:  "ENFJs are optimistic idealists, often trusting other people more than they should." 

Ugh.  I'm the eternal optimist.

But I guess what I'm getting at is that I do believe it's possible to will yourself into a revised person.  While nature v. nurture arguments are interesting, they're both external forces.  And it's probably because I'm such a goddamned optimist, but I 100% believe that individuals are capable of transforming themselves through personal willpower.

This post feels like a livejournal post my college self would've posted. 

So here we are - a tribute to that shy, overly self-conscious girl.

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